Niche

Everyone knows that in order to get anywhere in life, you gots to have a niche.

A blogger’s niche is like a farmer’s furrow. It should be deep, sown with the seeds of expertise, and continuous – stretching far, far into the distance, towards glistening horizons of online microfame. Your niche is your one track – your groove. It’s the melody you play that gets others dancing. It’s your domain; the one place where you feel at home intellectually. Your niche is your USP. It’s your MO. It’s your PTM. It’s your OMG, WTF is this asshole going on about?

If you’re American, you may have happened upon a word just now that you know to be pronounced ‘nitch’. I am writing today to beg you to stop. The word niche is a gift to you from the French – you know, just like the Statue of Liberty. Please treat it with the same respect.

Listen, guy. You seem to be able to pronounce other French words correctly. You’ve got ‘douche’ down to a tee. I’m sure ‘quiche’ gives you no trouble. Linguistically, I mean. If it gives you gastrointestinal trouble try eating a forkful at a time instead of inhaling it – or just avoid bland, beige, high-cholesterol foods altogether.

Delicious, fattening Quiche

My point is, you know quiche is not pronounced ‘kitsch’, don't you?

Although...

Kitsch (adj.) – Inferior, tasteless; aesthetically deficient.

Wow. I'm gonna let you have that one.

'Nitch'? That's still a nicht-nicht. If you still have trouble remembering the correct pronunciation, just remember how Sean Connery found his niche: She wash hiding in the laundry bashket.

Which transatlantic pronunciations get your knickers in a quiche? Tell me on Twitter.

Author

Joel Overton

Joel Overton is a holistic web development therapist. If you know what that means, he asks that you let him know, quickly please.